I launched Danica Explains It All in 2016 during a tumultuous time in my personal life. While a lot of things were definitely going my way, there was one particular relationship that had a toxic hold on my life. I went full-speed ahead with my blog with the frame of mind that it would be my baby to pour into– that I and I alone would be the sole source of its success or failure.
I’ve always found the construct of control (no SZA) to be an interesting one. Seeing as though control doesn’t even exist, somehow I’ve been fascinated to conquer the evading principle throughout my life– particularly as it relates to emotion and feelings. When I’m in control of my feelings, or so I’ve historically told myself, I’m dominating at work, at play and in all of my relationships. 2016 seemed like a great year as I went through the motions, but really, I just did a great job at compartmentalizing emotions I was too afraid to let myself feel.
FACE THE MUSIC.
In 2017, I was looking back on all I’d accomplished the year prior. I was working two jobs, taking on freelance gigs, having the time of my life with my friends, I’d graduated with my master’s– but I was also involved in a dead-end toxic relationship that was weighing me down. When I finally decided to commit to walking away and focusing on my needs, I was left with a lot of unresolved feelings that permeated through my writing. I didn’t feel comfortable broadcasting any of my work, because it all felt way too revealing, bitter and didn’t represent who I wanted to be as a person.
IT WAS TIME FOR A BREAK.
I spent the greater part of last year focusing on whatever was going to make me feel happy, fulfilled and whole. I learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be. Sometimes I feel guilt or even shame for taking the year off, but then I remember just how useful that time well spent was. My vision got clearer on all fronts and I was able to welcome love back into my life because I was able to extend it to myself, first.
So here I am, back at it again, recharged and ready for any of the obstacles that may come my way. I know I’m not the only one to go through the roller coaster I’ve been through because love, heartbreak and renewal are all apart of the human experience. We’re all connected in that way. I went back and forth about whether I’d share this part of my story because I was afraid of the power I’d be giving up by sharing– until I realized sharing my story is me claiming my power.
I welcome you to do the same– even if it means detailing your story for an audience of one (you). You’d be surprised at the gems you can uncover by just dedicating some time alone to be mindful about what’s going on in your heart and mind. I launched a 30-day writing challenge last month by releasing a writing prompt daily for you to join me in mining those gems. Sign-up for my newsletter to get my fillable journal including those prompts and more.
Have a similar story? Ever needed a break? Leave me a word or two below.
How did you overcome?